Monday, May 10, 2010

S&GD, bussinesses that profit from them, closets and responsability to the community

I've been making comments along these lines at various places from time to time but a recent post at Bilerico has prompted me to fight through the flu i've come down with to blog about this. The post in question is here

The Sex and Gender Diverse population is a very large minority. With estimates of 1 in 500 people Transsexual, 1 in 60 Intersex, 2%-10% of the population regular Crossdressers and who knows how many of the other facets of S&GD there are thats a big minority. Just the MtF crossdressers alone are a demographic large enough to swing elections in some countries if they voted together.

But they aren't voting together. Our community is nigh allergic to the word politics. Our rights depend on politics. We are discriminated against in legislation written by politicians. Where we have had increased decriminalisation and protection it has been through politics. We DEPEND upon politics!

Yet many forums outright ban discussion of politics. I've been banned from one crossdresser forum for 'political innuendo' lol. In truth this is a negligence towards the rights of S&GD people. We NEED to discuss politics where related to S&GD rights! We NEED to be political.

Even those in the closet have an obligation to the rest of the community. There is an obligation to the next S&GD generation to make the rights and social acceptance and Transphobia situation better for them than we have grown up with. Especially as many S&GD variations have been found or are suspected to have genetic components. This means that acting to improve the situation of the S&GD community is part of the FAMILY DUTY of each and every S&GD person! And of their families! Because regardless of whether the S&GD person has children themselves their family members will carry those genes.

Something the Crossdressers' Wives especially whose concerns (or predictions of their concerns) so often direct or limit much of the lives of crossdressers need to address. Their children may well be carrying an S&GD gene. And peoples Neices, Nephews, Cousins...

Because of that fact it totally changes the dynamic of family-based arguments about the closet. Many stay in the closet to protect their family but in fact thats condemning relatives and non-relatives alike to the same societal and internalised Transphobia that has so harmed our own and past generations. People usually will sacrifice much for the sake of their children... well as some of those children or grandchildren will also be S&GD so families must consider what they will decide about that, what they owe to those S&GD descendants and family.

Now if families or individuals choose to remain closeted for whatever reason that does not let them off the hook. The responsibility to family and non-family S&GD people remains. There's much a closeted person can still do. Donations of even petty amounts to S&GD charities and organisations make a real difference. How you decide your vote should still consider candidates and parties stance on S&GD issues. Being closeted is no excuse for any iota of Transphobic remarks, sure it may help dissuade people from thinking your S&GD but it's hurting others in the process and thats just not justifiable. Instead if your going to be closeted your still obligated to speak out against Transphobia and be pro-acceptance.

It's not just S&GD people and their families that have obligations though. As i mentioned already with forums and politics-bans failing the community there is also responisibility from websites and bussinesses to the community.

There's many bussinesses that profit from S&GD people. If your making money from S&GD people then you should be contributing to S&GD people. From specialist transformation-product stores to the sex industry to ordinary online clothing stores which i'm sure get a significant amount of crossdresser bussiness.

The site i was banned from for 'political innuendo' i used to reach via the domain name Not the first time a site has multiple addresses, nothing unusual there. And when i discovered that no longer went to that site i assumed they'd just sold off a spare domain name like other non-S&GD forums i've been on have done... but they deleted all discussion about them doing this!

There was even a thread where one wife was distraught at finding 'Date A Crossdresser' in her husbands internet history. Did a mod step in and tell her that the web address that formally went to was now that 'date a crossdresser' site? No. In fact when i posted this information to that thread it was deleted! The owners for what ever reason deciding to hide the change apparently more important than the marriages of people the site was allegedly there to support. Whether sold off or both sites having the same owner this is hardly an ideal way of handling that. Since then they have added an online store to

I think few have any illussions of the profiteers of the sex industry contributing much to the community outside of the services they provide for money. Though often individual sex workers have been some of those fighting for S&GD rights.

And we shouldn't consider that bussinesses making money from S&GD customers is neccessarily a bad thing. Economic power is a way a community can show it's strength and numbers and gain more acceptance in society. But it has to be done in the right way. Helping raise the success of S&GD artists and supporting products positively marketed to and engaging the S&GD community (even regarding sexual products of trans-attraction portrayed positively) and supporting companies which donate to equality orgs and charities are all positive but purely exploitative bussiness have not much value and may actually have a vested interest in maintaining the closet and transphobia.

There's others with a responsibility to the S&GD community.
For example i noticed a book for parents on school bullying the other day and flipped through it and to it's index. Any mention of Gay, Transgender, Intersex in the index or contents? Nope. Just sexual harassment. Yet the amount of homophobic and transphobic bullying in schools is a serious issue. Thats a bad omission. And for that matter was their any books in the bookstore on raising Gay children? Trans children? Intersex children? Nope of course not, just books on raising 'boys' and others on 'girls' by which of course they mean cisgender cissexual heterosexual boys and girls.

Omitting SS&GD where it's actually an important factor that should be addressed even if controvertial is irresponsible. And the general absence of S&GD books is again a problem. It's not just irresponsible to the customers who have need of such it's also irresponsible bussiness practice when there is going to be a growing market for it.

We need to address the responsibility we all have to the S&GD community. If we want things to change we must act to change them. If we would have liked it if others changed things for our benefit in the past then we need to do that for the next generation. Where we have benefited from the actions of past equality-fighters we need to pay that debt forward. We need to consider the legacy we leave to our children and our families and future generations. We need to demand of those that profit by us or claim to exist to support us that they contribute to the cause of equal rights and community building. We need to accept that no matter our ideology politics is an essential part of gaining equality which we must all stop avoiding and start addressing. We need to get those who choose the closet to still contribute. We need to demand the silence over S&GD cease and we get appropriatey addressed in all avenues.

Like other communities with internalised oppression issues and an equality struggle our community is pretty fractious and bitter. But we need to start building our understanding of personal power and responsibility. To consider our responsibility to the community and ourselves.


gaelige said...

'Sex and Gender Diverse community'

reads better then s&gd, as it explains itself as a phrase.
the acronym will follow in time.

"Sex and Gender Diverse community"
is much better, i think, then the acronym....

and much better then glbt
or tg, lol

good take on the other issues too.

Battybattybats said...

I agree the full term is far better but it saves typing energy (and room on already long headlines) to use the acronym, and i do try and put the full version at least once in every post or comment i use the acronym in so people will catch on to what I'm saying.

And definatly S&GD is much better and more inclusive than TG and SS&GD faaaaar better and more inclusive and less order-privileging than GLBT/LGBT/GLBTIQ etc

gaelige said...

'Sex and Gender Diverse community'

right lol, i copy and paste.
hope new inclusive terms can be spread.
sometimes 'queer' for glbt also.

& the uk elections suck.
tory and lib dem.
tory rule.

Battybattybats said...


As for the UK.. well i wonder how the mix of seats will end up working. Here having left parties like the Democrats and later the Greens holding balance of power in the senate has often been fairly good. Will the Tory government have to cooperate with the Liberal Democrats to pass legislation? If so it could prove to minimise the harm of Tory rule and even provide some progressive victories in vote-trading compromises.

gaelige said...

yeah i've been reading the guardian to try to get some informed opinion.

seems like tory rule started w/ boris johnson and now spreads.
if the libdems are centre left, why would they hook up w/tories?

do you know their positions on queer rights?

i was hoping for a leftist wave in europe back when segoline royalle
ran against sarcozy, but france stays centre right, now uk goes to the tories.
will it ever change?
what is the aussie
govt mostly % wise?
left or right?

gaelige said...

*now back to BUFFY for a bit...*

never seen it before...
i like my goth stuff not sugar coated, usually.

(also must feed 6 hungry cats.....)

gaelige said...

i say "goth"

Battybattybats said...

I'm still trying to catch up on a lot, this flu is slowing me down when i had a big enough backlog already.

I never got into Buffy much but plenty of friends did. As for 6 cats yikes! My one cat is enough of a handful.

On several CD forums i've suggested there should be a buy-transgender day where we encourage the community to support TG artists musicians writers etc to help their success prominance and our community as an economic force as well as tg-friendly bussinesses. I never did have any idea of when would be a good day for it though. Any ideas?

gaelige said...

what's your cat like?
i think of mine as "witch" cats, lol

...i love my 6 cats.
the more the merrier.
blackberry tigerlily foxglove
mittens muffin and ashes, the mom.
2 torties 2 black 2 tabby.
torties and black are great hallows kitties.(samhain)

as for buffy, its goth lite for kids.

'I never did have any idea of when would be a good day for it though. Any ideas?'

....."the TG day of rememberance"?
nov. 9th, isn't it?

sorry you are sick.
do you ever do herbs?

also garlic is a natural antibiotic, but maybe not for goths......


gaelige said...

full link this time....

gaelige said...

day of R is:
Nov. 20th

that day?
day before?
day after?.......

Anonymous said...

加油!充實內函最重要!Beauty is but skin- deep.

Battybattybats said...

Don't worry about the Garlic, it's a regular part of my diet. {Vampures do have to keep up that all-important resistance ;) } Try as a snack a light sprinkle of garlic flakes on peanut butter and very lightly browned toast! I discovered the tasty mix by accident and it's delicious.

As for cats her name is Tabitha and (groan) she's a Tabby cat. I tried a panoply of unusual names for her from a myriad of histories mythologies etc but nope Tabitha and Tabbie for short was what she responded to so cliche it is. She's clever, if she had opposable thumbs she would be able to open doors as her first day home she saw me open a door while carrying her and when going back through the door she reached forward to try and turn the doorknob with her tiny paws. She's also tough after recovering well from a broken hip when a sliding door came off its runner and fell on her, and before i managed to get her to be happy being an indoor cat she would bring in large lizards from the creek.. thats like 30-60 centremetre long lizards.. that she'd drop in the middle of the house alive to play with! She chose me at the pet store, i went in weekly and all the cats for sale ignored me or were unenthusiastic but her she reached through the cage for me when i approached and near leapt into my arms when the door was open.

As for the date, I think nearness to the TDOR might offend some people as they'd see it as commercialising the day. I think we'd have to keep it a respectful distance from it.

Unknown said...

Hi Batty,
This is not really a comment on your blog, but the only way I could see to communicate with you. I participate in, and realized that I haven't been reading your posts lately, which I enjoyed. After looking you up, I was shocked to see that you were banned. It just kills me that they can "disappear" people like some South American military regime. I don't even know why you were banished. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you are missed, at least by one person. Liz.

gaelige said...

cats choose you.
they always do.
she sounds cute- you should put her pic up, if you don't feel that would "invade her space"

(they don't get the choice, etc)
my cats would love australia, tho i don't like them to kill.
there are three with the 8 toes, also.
the big black one has a back foot that is 2 feet together on one side,
like a clovan hoof.
the other foot is 7 toed. he is really cool.
definate witch cat.

i also like the spelling:
like "varney the vampyre"
an old tale.

Battybattybats said...

Hi Elizabeth. Glad you found me.

I was banned for: "Political Innuendo" "Forceful Activism" and "Attacks on other members"

or to translate:

"Mentioning that people in America can determine American foreign policy on the death penalty for GLBT in Uganda by writing to their representatives no matter which party or ideology they belong to and in including foreign policy platforms in how they decide to vote"


"Comparing the statements of Suffragettes on the impacts on their family and how they risked their lives and effects on their family for their daughters and daughters daughters futures to the dilemma of crossdressers coming out and risking the consequences on their fmilies for the sake of their own crossdressing descendants" (this was apparently SOOOO DANGEROUS an idea that the thread was locked in less than 12 hours and deleted totally without explanation in 24!)


"Answering somone saying if their going out and being seen and read as TG then they are also activists helping us all gain acceptance"


"explaining to someone about societal oppression, unconcious oppression and how we all often unknowingly contribute to it" (you might remember this one, the person involved claimed transphobic violence didn't exist. My posting a link to an etext of a university text in the thread explaining these things along with TG murder stats apparently constituted an 'attack' on that person)

Please feel free to comment here on anything i post. I'm happy to get general chit-chat or total disagreement woth what i write. Ideas are forged in analysis and all views and possibilities should be considered. So whatever you feel like saying please do. I prefer people to be polite of course if they can manage. So far the only comments i delete here are spam (when i can be bothered even cleaning that out).

Battybattybats said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Battybattybats said...

Gaelige, I have enjoyed what I've read of Varney, it's s huge though and i only have an etext at the moment that i haven't got back around to finishing it after something else shiny caught my reading attention. As for spelling I don't have any particular preference. I'd likely use the y when i'm writing a story in an 1800's tone which reminds me i have a draft outline for a short story mixing Vampires and H.G.Wells maryian invasion. I really shall have to get back to finishing off some of those stories when my head is clear enough.

As for Tabitha well one pic i have is here:

now lets try the link again

Battybattybats said...

Sigh i'm not so good at this.

now hopeflly that works this time

Battybattybats said...

For some reason it cuts the end off???

Guess you'll have to cut'n'paste the two halves together


gaelige said...

wow she is the twin of foxglove!

yeah links get cut here.

(i had thought it was in my email......)

Battybattybats said...

On one crossdresser forum i suggested that today, being the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia would be a good day for people to buy a Transgender persons or trans-supporting bussinesses product. I have to wait till i'm a bit more awake this morning to make sure i don't overspend. I might get a copy of Susan Strykers Screaming Queens documentary if it's finally in general dvd release.